GOODBYE ASHESI PRESSURE. HELLO ASHESI HYPE

This message is confidential. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by work product immunity or other legal rules. If you have received it by mistake, please let me know by e-mail reply and delete it from your system; you may not copy this message or disclose its contents to anyone. Please send me by fax any message containing deadlines as incoming e-mails are not screened for response deadlines. The integrity and security of this message cannot be guaranteed on the Internet.

In recent times, Ashesi has become quite famous for the use of twitter in its liberal arts program. As a result of this, you find classes like Quantitative Methods, Social Theory and Robotics, all with twitter accounts where students can get some questions about the class answered. But there’s another story to this. *switches to Pidgin* HERH I swear Ashesi students dey like hype demma courses for twitter. I mean I get that we are getting access to such a quality education and all but the way students talk about their courses on twitter, e check like M.I.T, Oxford and Harvard courses sef be small kraaaa -as if they’re pursuing their Masters. And it’s the way they talk about it that’s the funny part. Like they don’t like the fact they’re in class, but they want to rub it in your face that “yeah, I’ve got access to a world class education and all”. Smh.  For example, say a student has got assignments to submit, he or she would get on twitter and be like “Pre-calc assignments dey boreee. Gawwwd!!! Can’t even go out cos I’ve got a ton of assignments to do”. See what I did there? They make it seem like they don’t want to care as a way to let “the outsiders” know what doing REAL assignments feels like. Please ooo, I didn’t mention any school so if you’re reading and you’re thinking ‘this Jeffrey boy is definitely talking about Legon or Central when he says “outsiders”’, then shame on you – you School-ist? Hope that’s a word.

So recently, there was an Ashesi Student Council forum where students, as usual, complained about how boring student life is on campus and that the parties are boring and all. If an “outsider” who follows a lot of Ashesi students on twitter had walked in at that moment, he’d be like “WHAAAAATTT???” Seriously though, the way Ashesi students can hype their events on twitter and other social networks makes me sometimes wonder whether I was even at that same event – or maybe there was an after-party after I left? I swear, I went to this one event which I shall not name one time and it was such a flop! Plenty “sausages” s))), a few shorties!! So I get back to my room later and log on to twitter to check what people are saying about the party and can I just say wow! Herh, as if Sarkodie sef stop by come see wassop. People were tweeting stuff like “Ashesi party in the Cave was aweessoomme!” and “Good jams and free drinks at the Cave #ashesi.” Notice how they won’t tell you the party is flopping but they sort of make you want to be there. That brooms cupboard under the school the we have named “The Cave” sounds sooo  (I dunno) cool I guess! It’s got such nice ring to it that “the outsiders” think we’ve got this Fahrenheit or Tantra-like club on campus.  HAHAHAHA!  They obviously don’t know that Ashesi’s Tantra/Bella Roma/ Fahrenheit has got a no-alcohol policy. That being said, there have been some interesting events in school.

And finally, SCHOOL FEES. Uh-oh! Yes I went there. Ashesi students like talking about their school fees on twitter papa. The whole Ghana e check like we p3 we dey pay school fees. You’ll generally find tweets like, “OMW to pay my school fees!!!!!!!” or “just finished paying my school fees.  oh Ashesi go finish ma poppy e money oh”.  Notice the number of exclamation marks in the first tweet. It’s ridiculous how you find students actually excited to pay fees. You can almost see the glee on their face.  Seriously, I’m not making this stuff up. I would like to actually copy and paste the original tweets here, but I don’t want to reveal their identities. I get that the sum we are paying is high compared to most schools in Ghana and the past and continuing students have complained about the fact over and over again to the extent that now if you do complain about it, it just makes you seem conceited. I remember this one tweet where one Ashesi student (whom I will not name) went like, “herh! I just looked on the cheque my dad gave me and realized Ashesi fees are over 3000 dollars”, to which one Legon student (whom I will also not name) replied “translation: your poppy get money take you go Ashesi…. AND SO WHAT??” It’s quite obvious that the “outsiders” have gotten tired of you people ooo TOME!

Guess it’s time to wrap up. So, what have we learned today class? Ashesi students dey overhype! YES I SAID IT!  I swear sometimes after reading the tweets, I wonder if I’m in the same school at all. Y’all (referring to the hypers) need to relax with the tweets. Stop spreading lies or else very soon all the other schools will realize Ashesi is all hype and no action – if they haven’t already figured it out by reading this blog. I do however admit that we do have some interesting events on campus, that have been a success but those are special cases. Rather than actually make student life interesting for themselves so they don’t have to lie, you’ll find these hypers running around on campus complaining that “the ASC is not making student life on campus nice kraa.” And to that I say, HORSE CR*P! They’re not the problem, YOU are!

MISCHIEF MANAGED

@jazzyboyjeff out!